Man, I havn't posted in a while, have I? Maybe I really should.
Well, I believe that the first order of business is the telling of how ecstatic I am that I'm NOT FAILING. Yeah. I thought for sure that my history class and my short story class would do it for me. At least without a lot of effort. Basically, I hate history because I don't care what people did 200 years ago in order to overthrow thier government. If that took place 2000 years ago, thats interesting. But the more recent it gets, the more boring it is. So, I tend to "forget" history facts: aka I don't care enough to remember anything. For the short story class, things were different. On the whole, I really don't mind english classes all that much. There are, however, two things that really make me irate when I take an english class. The first would be essays. I hate writing essays, because...well, I just do. I mean, its not like I have significant trouble with them, I can write them fine. If I care enough to actually write it. Usually, I get lazy, and tend not to write them, but thats my own problem. The second thing is basically what this class is all about. When I read a story, I read it for its entertainment value. I don't want to spend 2 hours analyzing every single little detail, discussing the significance of an article of clothing is to the plot, which has happened for two fo the stories so far this semester. It seems a little extra. If you read the story and like it, so be it. If you don't, thats fine to. I don't want to make an arbitrary decision as to whether the story's imagery and symbolism has any effect on its motif.
Well, thats all for the complaining. Things have been going...well, ok at the moment. I wouldn't say things were great, but they aren't exactly terrible either. I'm floating in between being happy and angry, and I'm not sure why. Its very frustrating, let me tell you. I don't know whether I want to joke with someone or to hit them when I talk to them. Oh well, not much I can do but wait it out and see where it goes.
I've also noticed lately that I have no drive. I don't want to do anything, even if it is something that is desireable. The effort dosn't seem to be worth it. I need to find some sort of motivation. Half the time I don't do what I'm supposed to for school, because I don't want to have to think about it. Its not a good thing, and I need to find some way of motivating myself before I fail classes again. I think I need to find something that I am good at, and run with it. Find a way to make it into a viable hobby, and see where it goes from there. When I'm not online, and not at school, and not at work, and not out with friends...I don't have anything to do. I hardly look at my video game systems anymore, I rarely get the urge to get better at the bass, and its become too cold to practice Tai Chi with any sort of longevity. It might be the seasons changing, but I feel as though I am stagnating, and there is nothing I can do to stop it.
...Well, that quickly changed into a morbid entry. Sorry, didn't mean for it to. Well, thats all I have to say for now.
Ok, so I lied. I have one more thing to say. I discovered an amazing new word today. Its sidereal. It means coming from the stars. Not exactly the most practical word, but whatever.